


if they find out, will it all go wrong?

by Internetmeep



Series: Benway/Ballum journey [2]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Coming Out, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Paul Coker- mentioned, Relationship Reveal, Reveal, Secret Relationship, basically Its so obvious that jay finds out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-14 02:47:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19264402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Internetmeep/pseuds/Internetmeep
Summary: Jay isn't blind. (He also might be omniscient in this but oops.) It really isn't that hard for him to figure out about Ben and Callum's relationship or whatever it is that is going on between them. He can see the hurt it is causing both of them and so decides to confront his brother and friend/employee about whatever it is exactly that neither of them are confronting.





	1. Ben and Jay

**Author's Note:**

> Now, I love a slow burn as much as the next guy but I've fallen and I can't get up. It's a problem. So, in the meantime, I decided I would try and write a series in which I basically speed everything up. Written out of order but hopefully I will remember to reorder it later. This entire thing may be for my own satisfaction but I welcome all of you to join me on this roller coaster. Buckle up folks, It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

It didn't take long for Jay to figure out what was going on between them. He didn't know much about his new employee, but Ben has never been subtle with his emotions. He knew something was going on, he couldn't say for certain if Callum was reciprocating or not but he was sure of one thing. Ben had fallen head over heels for that guy.

He'd noticed it the day he caught Ben sitting on the bench outside the Vic, watching Callum and Whitney kissing not long after their engagement. His brother staring aimlessly at the couple in disgust, claiming it was merely due to a little bit of PDA, an apparent new concern of his. But Jay knew what this was really about. Ben had a look in his eye like his entire world was being ripped from under him. For some reason, Callum meant everything to him, and Ben definitely acted like he meant the same to Callum. Maybe that was the case, although Callum didn't seem like the type to cheat on his girlfriend, especially not with a bloke. As far as Jay was aware Callum was as straight as they come, yet Ben continued to act weirdly, not just around him but in his general life also.

Ben was acting weirdly. He had been for a while, come to think of it.  To be honest it had started with their breakfast together in the caff. He was so desperate to talk about the night before and about how he "pulled", which was weird considering his tendency not to kiss and tell. But no, he seemed genuinely happy, something Jay hadn't seen from him in a long time. He had to do whatever he could to ensure this happiness remained. It was nice to see his brother like this again. And this happiness started noticeably after his rendezvous discussed in the café, after he left E20 for some hookup and Callum snuck out not long later. Not like that meant anything but considering he was "a bit of a rookie", it could imply something was going on between them. And then of course, Callum walked in during breakfast for a second and then they both left? Maybe Callum isn't as straight as he first thought. Things didn't seem to add up.

Well that was at least until he noticed this strangeness of Callum's behaviour also. Arguing with Ben, seeming to try and avoid him at all costs yet consistently both being in the bathroom in the Vic at the same time. The way that Ben was able to drag his thoughts away from whatever he was doing. It didn't seem real, but lately he was trying way too hard with Whitney but nobody seemed to notice the glossed over expression in is face as if he was trying to be something he was not. An expression that Jay knew all to well, after all he had been through this all before with Ben, who somehow never used to be out and was so desperate to keep up pretences for Abi and his father that he was absolutely miserable. Staying in the closet had nearly ruined Ben. Jay couldn't let it happen again. Not with Callum, but he could also see they way that Ben was turning to drink every time he saw Callum and Whitney together.

He had to do something about it. He figured the best thing to do was confront both of them about it. Knowing Ben, he wouldn't be making it easy for Callum if this was actually what he thought it was. He has a tendency to flirt and blackmail and generally attempt to ruin lives. If they were to stand any chance of getting together in the future Jay would need to have a word with Ben, get him to tone things down a little.

"Hey bruv, can we have a word it's important?" Jay decided to ask Ben finally, once they had gotten somewhere somewhat privately. He wasn't about to out Callum if his suspicions were right.  
"Do we have to? I'm kind of busy," Ben replied, finishing his drink without looking up at the person in front of him.

"I know" Jay continued, wanting to maintain a sense of mystery yet stress out his friend a little, maybe that's selfish of him but sometimes he feels it important to leave Ben in the dark and mess with him the way he does everyone else. Give him a taste of his own medicine so to speak.

"Know what Jay?" Ben asks, a sense of suspicion in his voice, yet still unaware of the topic of conversation.

"I know that there is something going on with you and Callum."

Ben froze. It wasn't even as if he had anything to lose though. He's been out for years. This wasn't his secret to be revealed. But maybe, just maybe, he was a little concerned about what this reveal would mean for Callum. Everything was at stake for him. He has a fiancé, a condescending brother, a life. This could ruin him.

"Don't know what you're talking about" Ben replied despite the hesitation, a hint that he was not being entirely honest with his testimony.

"Why are you lying to me bro? I've seen the way you look at him, seen the way he looks at you an'all. You can't pretend that's nothing. I know you slept together the day before their engagement"

"We didn... yeah okay." Ben revealed, knowing there would be nothing he could say to prove otherwise. "Wait, what do you mean the way he looks at me. He don't want nothing to do with me. I keep trying to stay away from him but every time I see him. I just..."

"wow bro, you've really fallen for him ain't ya?" Jay replied, finally noticing quite how far gone he is.

Ben didn't reply, he just nodded and took another sip of his second drink, one he had apparently poured whilst Jay was talking.

"I don't know what to do. When I was coming out I was so scared of everything I had to lose but I had Paul to gain from being true to myself. He doesn't even want me so I doubt he's going to come out any time soon." Ben explained, pouring himself another glass.

"I think you've had enough of that" Jay added, taking the glass from his hands, and going to the kitchen to bring back a glass of water to replace it. "I think I should have a word with him, you however, you need to sober up. Here drink this" he concluded taking Ben's hand and placing the glass inside it. Obviously Ben refused the glass, he is stubborn like that and therefore Jay wasn't going to pity him for the hangover he would have the next day, however he guessed he could understand the reasoning's behind it. Finding someone he could perhaps love for the first time since Paul, isn't something that is taken lightly.

 

 


	2. Callum and Jay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to add a disclaimer here that I am not someone who as watched the show very long and so am not completely familiar with the characters' dialect, however I do live just outside London and would consider my dialect very similar to the characters so I apologise if it doesn't sound completely like the character specific idiolect or anything-.

Jay knew it would be a lot harder to talk to Callum. He was so far in denial his hair was wet and there were limiting factors meaning he probably wouldn't care too much to come out. But it is Pride Month after all, surely that has to mean something right?

He was confused. Jay was aware of that. Although, he wasn't certain just how long this was going on, whether there had been someone in the army- or even before that. How did Ben even figure it out. That was a slightly more answerable question, Ben was probably being his usual self, flirting with every guy he meets and Callum must have reacted in some way. Well, he also hit him around the face if that was anything to go by, that 'incident' seems to line up with the start of all this. Callum was confused and slowly but surely tossing away his life he'd worked so hard for. Jay needed to talk to him, before he let this go on for too long and break not only Whitney's heart but Ben's too. 

There was a perfect opportunity for them to talk on a quiet day at work, Jay making up some excuse for the reasoning why Callum couldn't go home early. Giving him the sort of job you'd give a trainee for a laugh. Getting him to start some pointless sorting of papers before interrupting him to ask the questions he really had on his mind.

"Hey, erm Callum..." He started, not wanting to go at this accusingly or interrogatory but also feeling it necessary to have this conversation as he doesn't seem like the bloke to make a move when it comes to something like this; although Jay wasn't completely sure who would. 

"Yeah, mate?" Callum replied, and Jay noticed exactly how long he had paused for. Fumbling over the right words to say.

"You see, the thing is, I know my brother very well." Jay started, whilst Callum wondered what exactly that had to do with him. Unless of course he'd found out... but he can't have. Surely. They were really careful with this... with nothing, there was nothing to find out.

Jay continued. "And I can tell when he has feelings for someone. It doesn't happen very often, not since Paul, so it caught my attention." Callum figured he was probably talking about him yet it didn't stop him from feeling a twinge of jealousy towards anyone else that Ben might have been with since... well since nothing happened.

"I wanted to ask you how you feel about all of this. Because I'm a little concerned about the people you're hurting. Not just Ben but Whitney too. You cheated on her Callum."

"Cheated on her? No, I haven't, it's not like I had sex with a girl... or even really did anything with Ben."

"Who are you trying to kid here Callum? Me or yourself? Because I don't think you believe that. Do you love Whitney really? Was Ben a mistake?" Jay was attempting to keep his voice in an understanding tone. He didn't care if Callum was straight or not but the way he was acting, people were getting hurt.

"Are you kidding? Yes. I love Whitney. Nothing happened with Ben. I don't see what the big deal is here?" Callum responded, sounding more and more frustrated and angry towards the conversation. However, Jay knew there was something underneath, something that would prove that Ben means more to Callum than he is making out. He thought that maybe he was going about this the wrong way. He'd have to change this up a little.

"Right okay. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to start anything. I believe you, all I'm trying to do here is help you with whatever you feel you need to do moving forward. Because whatever you feel for whoever, there is someone you will need to talk to, end things with."

Callum knew Jay was right, eventually he would have to end what he had with someone, and no matter how much he was lying to himself as an attempt to make the decision easier, he was completely undecided about who he should choose. On one hand, he loves Whitney, has been with her for ages now, agreed to marry her. He knew that would be the decision his family wants him to make. But Ben. Ben was all he could think about, creeping into every thought he has, remembering the was his fingers feel on his skin, remembering his smile and snarky comments, remembering how caring he is, but also how hot. Whitney has never, and could never live up to the way Callum felt when he was with Ben.

The problem was, he felt so scared when he was with Ben, scared that someone would see them together, how people would react. How would Stuart react. He remembered what his brother said in the bathrooms of the Vic. Gay people are like predators, nonce's. He'd think that it was Ben's fault, that he "turned him." But how much longer could he keep up appearances with Whitney? What, was he seriously going to get married to her? Have kids? 

"I don't know what to do Jay. I love Whitney, but I feel good when I'm with Ben. I don't know what it is, I can't explain it." Callum decided he could trust Jay not to take this out of the room. If he was being honest with himself, this was getting harder for him to deal with, maybe talking it all through with Jay might help.

"Do you think you're gay?" Jay asked.

Callum's reply was barely above a whisper and it reminded Jay of a conversation he had with Ben four years prior. They actually weren't that different come to think of it.

"Maybe"

"Look mate... sometimes you need to be selfish, do what is right for you, and from the sounds of things you aren't as happy with Whitney as you are with Ben. You need to tell her what's going on. And the longer you leave it the more you'll hurt her." 

Callum knew Jay was right. He just didn't feel the same spark with Whitney as he does with Ben. He'd spent most of his life believing a connection like that was a lie, something that never really happened. That was until he met Ben in that park and everything just clicked into place. Everything he thought he knew about life had gone out the window the second Ben wiped a tear from his cheek. 

"Thanks for this talk" he started... "You won't tell anyone will you?" Despite everything he knew about Jay, there was still a fear he was about to ruin everything he had built for himself. Not that Callum wouldn't be doing that himself in time but...

"Of course not. Doesn't mean you shouldn't though. You need to speak to Ben, he thinks you don't want anything to do with him"

"Yeah I will... I just need time." 

Jay had heard that one before. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is already getting quite long and to be honest I want to get this out and also it would make sense to do this so I'm going to split this up into 2, maybe 3 chapters idk yet
> 
> If you have a prompt for the next fic, or anything to say about this one, please let me know in the comments.


End file.
